Effective boundaries can give us a sense of security and respect and influence all areas of our lives.
For example, physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances and mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions.
When asked about their lack of boundaries, clients often ask:-
- Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
- What if the other person is angry or upset by my boundaries?
- Aren’t boundaries selfish?
- Why do I feel anxious when I consider setting boundaries?
When it comes to setting effective boundaries or deciding if it’s time to say “no”, it may be useful to consider the following:-
Is the action or words you are about to engage in true to yourself, is it true to your values? Or are you doing something just to impress others or keep the peace?
Is the action or words you are about to do or say kind and helpful to yourself?
When we start saying no, setting limits and putting boundaries in place that protect our emotional needs, time and energy inevitably certain individuals will be disappointed, angry or hurt. But remember, that in order to live the rich, meaningful life you deserve, effective boundaries need to be established and that saying “no” is your right.
